My Kodi Blog- Himsh

  Kodaikanal, a hill station that is in the middle of nowhere and is chilly 24/7. Here was where I completed my 11th and 12th, the last two years of high school. I decided to go here, well because my older cousin Abhimanyu attended the same school and my parents really wanted me to go there. All I knew was that there were extremely popular kids that attended the school, few of them I had already heard of from either Facebook, or my friends back in Nepal. Facebook was the most used site back then, everyone had at least stalked someone they've met once, especially that we were new kids of the new batch and almost 50% extra students were joining. 

The first day of school, orientation was boring as usual. At night, I never met my BFF at first sight, Sam. It was like love at first sight, but with a friend. We clicked in the first conversation itself. She told me she was from Nepal but studied in Dhaka, she knew about few of my friends back home, from my previous school. She told me that she thought the girl sitting besides us was "lame," in Nepali and I couldn't agree more. She told me that she wanted to be friends with the popular crowd, and so did I. We had the same goals. We both just wanted to be friends with the good looking people and have good pictures clicked. That day I added her on Facebook, my first friend. 

I said goodbye to my parents that night, with a heartfelt tear in my eye and entered my dorm. This was my first time living in India with Indian kids, it was a culture shock. These girls spoke Hindi fluently, and were crying out loud. I remember this one girl I became friends with told me that her roommates mother asked her if her daughter could sleep on her bed if she got scared at night. I was exposed to a whole new side of unusual-ness. The next day I found out, that Sam had taken Computer Science just like me, as we both wanted to get out of Science class. Turns out computer science was harder than what we expected. The first class we learned about "system.out.println," Sam and I had so many questions that we didn't know where to begin. Sam, at the time was still getting over her ex-boyfriend and was in a mission to find herself a boyfriend. That class I remember, had not one good looking guy according to Sam and her telling me that she wanted to drop out of class. In the middle of the first class she raised her hand, the teacher acknowledged her, and she randomly asked her: "Can I get excused." The teacher looked her in confusion and asked if she wanted to go to the restrooms? Sam very confidently said "No, can I just please be excused." The teacher angrily replied: "Samridhi, there is 20 minutes of the class remaining, why would I excuse you for no reason. Do your work!" Sam disappointedly got to doing her work. Sam was a walking/ talking meme. Everything that she said was hilarious. 

There were 4 girl dormitories for 11th and 12th graders in total. There was one dorm in particular that I really wanted to be a part of, where all of the popular girls were. Sam started uploading pictures with one girl in particular. Let's call her "T." I had a secret crush on T ever since I joined. The pictures they uploaded looked funThe first week of school, Sam was invited for a sleepover hosted by one of the cool kids on her birthday. I remember her telling me that she kissed my crush that night as a dare, and I was jealous! I was in a dorm far, far away from the rest of them. 

Sam told me that she had never smoked up in her life. So I told her okay let's do it. Our friend gave us some stash wrapped in newspaper. I remember looking at that amount and not thinking it would be enough. The first day we sprinkled it on some pizza and had it, but it didn't work. The next time, we asked him to roll it. The friend who gave it to us told us specifically to not smoke the entire thing as it is very potent. We went to the Subway bathroom to smoke it, we took 2 puffs and thinking that what he gave us was grass, we smoked the entire thing. As we walked out of the bathroom in the hallway, the hallway never ended. We just kept walking. I asked Sam if she was high, and she said "very." The both of us were extremely high. After that, we started smoking a couple more times. One time, we smoked inside the school premises, inside a toilet, the same day after 3 of our good friends had just gotten expelled. We realized after that we had a mandatory IBDP meeting that we had to attend, but we were extremely high. We both entered the meeting hall smelling like smoke. We sat together and I whispered to her: "Do I smell like smoke?" She's like: "Oh shit! ask xyz who was sitting next to me. I asked her and she very concerningly asked me if I smoked, which heightened my anxiety. I told Sam "OMG dude I smell like smoke." She panickingly told me "leave! Just leave!" So I got my belongings and walked out of the meeting hall. The IB coordinator hosting the meeting asked me where I was going, and this when I told him: "I'm dropping IB." The entire class started applauding me at the time, and I didn't understand why. Before this meeting, I was already considering dropping to IB Certificate instead of IB Diploma since I didn't want to do TOK. I had already made up my mind, but the class thought that I dropped IB right when the IB coordinator started to talk. He apparently asked if anyone wanted to drop out they could leave now, as a joke, and that's when I walked out. I can't recall. 

One time, I told Sam as a joke that my dorm parent caught me high, and she is going to send me to the dispensary to do a drug test. 10 minutes later, she messaged me saying: "I got it." I asked her "got what?" she says: I got the urine of this innocent girl from her dorm and put it in her contacts lenses case so she could use that as her sample. Me being high at the time, multiplied my laughter. 

Once at CCD, this girl in our grade offered me some alcohol. I obviously drank it. The next thing I know, my dorm parent found out somehow, and one of my friends told me that she is coming around with a breathalizer. I thought I was going to get expelled, I didn't know how to explain it to my parents. This day was finally coming. I panicked, I told my friend to give me gum, she said she didn't have any. She quickly went to her room and removed a large jar of achaar (pickle) from her room and told me to eat it. Me, Tipsy as ever grabbed the jar and started eating large chunks of achaar. Right then my roommate walks into the room and starts going like "ewwww." The dorm parents walks in the room and tells me to blow on the machine. That day I was caught. I was sent to the dispensary. I met the friend I got drunk with there, apparently she was already used to all this and was not scared at all. She looked at me and smiled. A week after I was caught was supposed to be a weekend off and I was supposed to celebrate my birthday in a club in Mumbai. My friend had gotten into the VIP list, and I was so excited! Until, I got the news that I was going to be sent in the long-weekend to an orphanage called "Bethania," on my birthday. 

On my birthday, my Facebook comment section was filled with memes with me and the cows. I remember when I got there, the girl I got suspended with gave me a "quick" tour of the place. She was like "the showers don't work," "The bed's broken," "Sometimes stray cats come in," "The room is see-through, so make sure you stand here," "This child has a disease so don't touch her," and she's like "good luck, bye! Happy birthday!" in the most serious way ever. I was stuck there for 4 days without network, in the middle of nowhere, on my own. The woman in charge looked exactly like Master Oogway. She told me that if it starts raining, to move my bed because the roof would leak. I spent the whole of first day crying in that bed with mud and ants all over the floor. I wondered how my friend lived there, it was brutal (not really.) I had stacked 3 packets of lays and a bottle of coke, so that kept me going. Also, I spent most of my days playing chess with the children, and they were better than I was. 

1 of the 4 dorms were filled with all of the girls I wanted to be with. The girls I thought were cool, and one of them I had a huge crush on. They were like the mean girls of school. They looked good and got special treatment! This one time in camp, I was sharing the tent with those girls. It was like, whoever reached the place first, got to pick their tent. My crush and I took our own sweet time to trek to the top, and when we got there- the only tent left was near the toilets. She said "Hell no", and walked over to the best tent that had been taken by another group of girls. She said "Hey this is our tent, can you guys leave?" I don't know what exactly she said, but they actually got up and changed their tents. This was the kinda power this girl held. Even though I had some traumatic memories of some bullies in the grade, I was happy that it was over. Let's just say that the placebo effect is real.

I applied to move my dorm, and it got accepted. I was finally going to be in the same dorm as my crush! For some reason, the everyone referred to the dorm as "Lower Boyer Lesbians." We were the badasses, the thug life, the bad girls. I finally started becoming pretty, and guys thought I was pretty. We used to smoke inside the showers, and throw the ciggs down inside the drain, or throw it on the ceiling windows where no one could see. If the dorm relief walked in, we used to turn the showers on, to make it look like we're just showering. A lot of bullying happened there, I remember once a girl threw a fish inside the girls shower, while she was showering. 

When the dorm relief went to bed, we used to take out the alcohol that we got from probably the shadiest place on earth. We played dares and opened up to one another. I was secretly into girls back then, and it used to eat me up. The only way I could ever openly share my feelings was when I was drunk as I could just blame it on the alcohol. I loved the school I went to as it was very open-minded. The girls had cool badass haircuts, like half hair shaved, half long.There were a lot of girls dating girls and openly gay guys. The seniors casually used to ask me if I have any crushes on any guys or girls. After all, a lot of girls kissed each other in my school, why couldn't I? Maybe I would develop feelings? But then again I wasn't attracted to every girl. I was just attracted to one. Who was I? Who am I? These feelings always crept inside me. Every time I was high, I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't recognize myself, I felt so ugly. 

It's just me, I thought to myself. I am the only one who's into girls. After all, who would like me? I'm not like the girls you see on TV. I am crushing on those type of girls, but it's not me.

Our average math class looked like: everyone sleeping, and the class teacher teaching it to 1 student. The teacher got fed up of everyone sleeping in his class so he said he would upload the videos to YouTube. The next day he asked the class if everyone watched his videos, and everyone said yes. When he opened the videos, the video had 2 views and everyone started to claim that it was them who watched it 

 I remember once I told my friend that her dress didn't look good for prom. So she changed her outfit completely, wore a boy wig, and dressed up in a suit. I seriously used to wonder why she did that. That day during prom, all the girls gave her attention telling her she looked good. I was confused as to why they were saying that. I resented girls with short hair that confidently acted masculine, I hated them. They were minorities. After all, who'd like them? I let that slide, even though I was dateless for every prom I went to. If I could, I would've asked my crush out and gone completely romantic on her. 

Senior year was finally coming to and end, and there has been a culture in our school that there is always a senior prank day. For our senior prank, Sam and a bunch of other people brought eggs to school- and we egged the entire school. None of us got in trouble because all of us did it.